Grief Has No Timetable

It's been five weeks since we said goodbye to our Tinker, but at times it feels like it just happened yesterday. Both of us have ups and downs in remembering good times, bad times, missing him and our Virginia, and the pain and sadness just doesn't want to go away. Sure, there is laughter and smiles, but it's a rough emotional Olympics.

Getting a new dog wouldn't relieve the pain. It apparently works for some people, but not the two of us. It's not like stitching up a wound. Right now that wound is open and painful. Sure, there are things we can do outside of the house that we haven't been able to in years. But coming home and not being greeted by "Mr Happy Go Lucky" and getting licked on the nose leaves a large hole in our lives.

We pet and hug and play with every dog we come across where we live and anywhere else we run into a person with a dog...or a dog with a person.

Tinker's ashes and locks of hair sit in a box within a bag on our fireplace mantle. We haven't touched it since we brought it home about a month ago. We don't want to deal with it. There are some things we have donated to rescue people we know, but the gate to the front door still stands at attention. All of the beds and several of Tinker's plush buddies still sit stacked on the living room floor waiting for when we will be able to move them. We'll keep some and donate some. It's doubtful that any will get tossed out.

The bed is gone from our room. That was one of the first things we were able to do early on, as well as moving the downstairs beds so they were no longer trip hazards. His big crate and his travel crate still sit near the living room steps to the bottom floor.

His picture (above) is still the wallpaper on our desktop computer. Seeing him makes me happy and sad all in the same breath. Speaking of breath, I miss that distinctive Tinkie breath. A musky odor that some would find unpleasant, but to us it was like lavender or berries; especially when you smelled it while he was licking your nose.

I feel like a train wreck; sad, unhappy, anxious...and C has her issues with her grief. When we lost Virginia it hurt like hell, but we had Tinker to walk, hug, kiss, play with and distract us. Now, there is no furry little one waiting around to ease our pain. I do find some temporary relief from a little dog that knows what I need. I re-injured my back right before we lost Tink and so I have been going for PT. The owner has a sweet little Sheltie, who just knows. When I pet her, while coming or going, she licks me on the nose like our boy did. If that's not a message I don't know what is.

We miss you so much Tinkie. We hope you and Virginia are running and playing, and feeling so good. We <3 you both.

It's a Gotcha Kind of Month

April is a very busy time in our household. A birthday, our anniversary, and a couple of "Gotcha" days. For those of you that don't know, the Gotcha day marks the day you adopted (or "got") your dog and/or cat (what are those?) from a rescue or shelter. (It doesn't count if you bought your dog from a pet store... but that's a discussion for another day.)

Last Tuesday, April 20, was Virginia's Gotcha day. Incredibly, it has been 10 years since our little girl came into our lives. It's been a decade of wonderful times. Though she may be 11 years old now, she's still as nutty as ever, doing rollies on her back every night after dinner. She still does puppy zoomies around the room, flies up a flight of stairs, and is as "Beaglie" as ever... translation: very food motivated.

The nicknames she goes by these days are "Little Girl", "VA", "Sweet Pea", "Puddin'", "Punkin", "Munchkin", "Miss Beagaloo" and a few hundred other variations (no one ever said we weren't nuts).

She does have some issues, namely a sensitive stomach and her hearing is not what it used to be. But she can still break into a refrigerator like nobody's business and she is still our puppy.


Today, April 29, marks six years of a house full of Tinker. Hard to believe. Not that it is six years already, but that it hasn't been longer. Tink seems like he's been here forever. We can't remember the time before he was here and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Right now, he's squealing like a pig Tink to come downstairs. (We still do not let him do stairs himself- we serve as his personal sherpa to keep his back in as good a shape as possible). He's one nutty, fun loving dude. I don't think there's a happier, more upbeat dog (or person for that matter) on the planet.

Every day is a great day for Tinker, even those days when his back gets a little stiff. He's 10 years old, going on 2 months. And he is overjoyed at this moment to finally be downstairs and licking his sister's ears (a daily ritual).

The nicknames he goes by these days are "Boo" (evolved from Tinker Boo), "Boobadeaux" (that's his Cajun name...no, we're not Cajun), "Billy Joe Boobadeaux" (I told you we were nuts), "Boo Boo" (seems to be a theme here), "Mr. Boy", and of course, he will aways be "The Dude".

These two monkeys enrich our lives every day and in so many ways. They are fun, stress relieving little kids with fur, and just a joy to be around. We couldn't love two animals more than we love them (maybe more than some relatives, too).

Any port in a storm

Tinker loves a lot of things, but Tinker does not love thunderstorms. He's not bad until the thunder gets loud as the storm gets closer... and then he begins to quiver and pace. So out comes the Rescue Remedy. 3 squirts from the spray bottle works well, and we repeat it every 15-20 minutes if the storm lingers. That and finding a "safe spot" to den in, seems to help him to manage.

Just like people do, dogs can find ways to deal with their fears. In his case, it's under the living room end table. We bring out a comforter to snuggle in and his stuffed pal Ernie, and under he goes. Pretty soon the Rescue Remedy and relaxation kick in and he nods off to sleep.


And what is Virginia doing during the storm?


"Storm, what storm? I've got boneys to chew!"

For a dog who has separation anxiety, Virginia is amazingly unflappable about everything else. Riding in the car, thunder and lightning, loud noises, etc. - no problem. During a storm she'll continue doing whatever it was she was doing- chewing on a bone, sleeping, waiting for dinner. Occasionally, she will go and lay down with Tinker, but that usually happens much later.


See Tinker's little stuffed friend Ernie curled up next to him? :)